Prologue
Day long and day short
Night end and night start
Be here and be fair
For all those who really care
Look towards the heavens above
The source or unending love
Look towards the ground below
Hear the screams of foes
Look Upon the Starry Night
Heart aching from all the strife
Seems like life is one big fight
A cold jab with a knife
Look Upon the sunny day
When there is absolutely no shade
No way to hide the pay
Of wearing no sun block today
Look upon the stormy sky
Gaze behind and say goodbye
For your time is close and near
Time for you to disappear
Who are we if nothing but savage beasts? We humans are no better than the monkey who breaks out of the pen at the zoo, the alligator in the house that attacks us, the tick and mosquitoes who sucks the blood of others and weaken them. We fight to live, we live to love, we love to hate, and we hate to fight. The racism, the bigotry, the insecurities of ourselves and others control how we live our lives. From the hazing in college to the prostitute working to feed her kid back home, the strength to help others in need always takes the backseat to doing nothing at all.
Seemingly so, it appears pain is a part of life. A great bowl of sorrow, heartache, disappointment, what some call the tools of the devil, takes over causing the tears to fall at night. Hurting, some people just let it go, put on a smile, lie and say they are fine, letting everything build up inside of them. Others just let the pain take over, start to think that life isn’t worth living, and commit suicide.
A loss of those we loved most makes us do crazy things at time. Make us go mad; lose focus, causing us to forget who we really are deep inside ourselves. We give up and decide to take the plunge. It seems as if God, the cause and creator, the great I am has left us to dry up and all our hopes and dreams die as we shrivel up.
Always in my life have I felt as if I never fit in. I was popular but lonely as if no one truly understands me. My best friend was no longer around and I had only myself. My parents treated me like crap. We always fought because my parents thought what other people thought were more important than how I felt. When my friends needed me I was always there but when I needed someone they disappeared like water vapor in the air. They became invisible, heartless, unless I did for them.
Truth is I'm a monster. Inside of me, there's so much darkness, pain, sorrow, lack of love that wasn't there before. I knew at that moment it was time. Looking in front of me was the woods and I ran threw them to the place I needed to go, the plateau in the mountains looking out to the valley and the lake of the mountains.
Violins played far off in the distance of my mind, for I have a great love for music. I looked forward to the horizon that God had prepared before me gazing at all the beauty, the majestic scene that opened my heart. The plateaus of the Ozarks, the waters of the lake, the fresh smell of the summer air just overwhelmed me. I started to think about myself and all the things I held inside me. My identity, my feelings, my memories all dwelled in my heart, causing me to ache in pain. Everything started to build up inside me like the remorse I had for all the regrets and mistakes I made.
I thought about the times I spent looking and glazing at the stars, thanking God for all he had done for me. I thought all the times I prayed, all the times I did what was right. Where were my blessings? Nowhere to be found.
He took my friends from me, my mother’s love, and killed all the dreams I had. He let the wedge of disappointment let in all the evil throughout the world, my world. He allowed war, hatred, bigotry, and the most horrible things to enter my life. My tan skin flushed as the anger built inside of me and I made up my mind to do what needed to be done. I took a moment and reminisced on my life.
Tears flooded as I stood underneath that cedar tree that was on the edge of the plateau I stood as the sadness of my memories flooded me drowning me in misery upset and hurt. I looked toward the sky, my eyes bloodshot from the salty moisture excreting from them looking at the clear blue sky. The birds were chirping. People wake boarded, laughed, and enjoyed life. My family appeared to have a joyous time without me. My best friend was dead, probably happy that I was not there. Sighing, the let my last tears fall cause it was time for the end to come. Mystified about how happy the day seemed when my day was a nightmare, I couldn’t take it. I walked three steps forward and fell...into the nothingness of air.
I fell and my heart lifted. I felt free. Everything went into the place where it belonged. Rushing past me, I saw the rocks past and the water coming closer. I was ready. I wanted everything to end. I wanted all to go black and nothing to be seen again. The water came closer. My lips curled into a smile while I braced for the impact. Starting at my toes and continuing to over my head the water covered me and I closed my eyes and waited to die.
It’s kind of hard not to panic when you start to die but you just have to not chicken. Pain filled my lungs. My head hurt like crazy. I had to breathe. Swallowing the water, I knew it was the end no turning back now. I was too far from the surface. I said my goodbyes and asked God for forgiveness.
Over in the murky distance, while I was close to the end, I saw these five women of immense beauty staring at me. These could not have been ordinary woman no one ever has been this beautiful on the outside before. One of them caught my eye and my body tensed. I had no control. Life for me ended that second. Falling before me, darkness covered all. The walls caved in.
My name is Wyatt, Wyatt Lennox. My life had been nothing but pain, hatred, and sorrow. That day marked the end of my legacy. I died.
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